I have one question...What should we do? We will take any advice that anyone gives us right now!
Last night my ex-husband's father called me. I never had a problem with him or anyone else in the family (except David) for that matter. We talked for about 30 minutes. They haven't seen, talked to, or even sent a card to Anna since she was 2 years old. Anna has no clue who they are. I have told her that she has biological grandparents that are her biological father's parents but beyond that she has no interest in them.
Last night Dave said that the reason that they have had no contact was because of David (my ex). They were "protecting her". The thing is David was living in Colorado and Florida (running form the law). I am completely torn and I have been agonizing over this since we got off the phone. I really wanted to ask him to come up with a better excuse then contact me later. I mean they could have sent cards etc... with out David knowing or it being traced. Phone calls could have happened, hell David knows my phone number (he has to so I don't get in trouble). Well they want to see her again and he was calling her his baby and he said that he has got a lot of b-days & Christmas' to make up for. I really was offended by that part, how could you call someone "your baby" when you haven't given a damn about her for the last 7 1/2 years of her life!!!?
I don't want Anna to hate me when she is older for not giving her the opportunity to meet her biological grandparents and to get to know them. On the other hand I feel like I am being slapped in the face and that I am going to have to slap some super great people in the face as well. Anna has grandparents that have been in her life since the time she came into this world and then she has grandparents that didn't have to be apart of her life but they have taken her in as if she had been theirs since the beginning.
Michael and I talked about it last night. Michael is her daddy and any decision regarding her should be made by the both of us...right? We are kind of stuck and I think he stayed quiet because he didn't want to express his personal thoughts about the situation. I know that a part of me just wants to say "go to hell" and "you missed your chance" but I know that as a christian that isn't the right way to handle it. I think about the emotional effect this will have on MY BABY! I as a mother have to protect her & I am really feeling that motherly instinct right now! I am also feeling a bit angry about the whole thing too. What ever I choose to do I will do it with Michael.
5 comments:
Katy I am very sorry you are going through this. I don't really have any suggestions for you, but I will pray that it all works out. You are her mother, and you will do what is best for her.
Thanks Candi! We will be praying too.
I agree. YOU are her Mother, YOU (and Michael) are the ones that have to pick up the pieces that result from the decision. YOU were the one that took care of her...without care from them 7.5 years ago. Bottom line, she is YOUR baby, YOU do what YOU know is right!
You know Anna, and you know in your heart of hearts the right thing to do. You and Michael will make the right decision together.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I was in a very similar situation with my mother's parents when I was younger and I know how difficult it can be. If you ever want to talk about it, feel free to email me.
Them being absent for so long has put the ball in YOUR court. Do what's right for your family, not necessarily what you feel is right by them. I hope you guys can come to a decision you feel comfortable with. I'm sorry you're having to worry about it now...
Thanks y'all, we are still debating on what to do.
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